Father Son Time
by hoyteca
Summary: After getting captured by the Gerudo, Link joins Ganondorf's cause. Contains sex scenes.
1. Chapter 1

Link sighed as he waked into Kakariko Village. It had been seven long, boring years since he had slain Ganon. Seven years, his time, since he had been sent back in time. Seven years since Terminia.

There were rumors that Ganondorf was planning an invasion. Link sighed. If Zelda hadn't sent Link back in time right after he defeated Ganondorf, he wouldn't have to deal with that bullshit again.

Link realized he was in a lose-lose situation. If he didn't grab the Master Sword, he would have no real way of defeating Ganondorf. If he did grab it, Ganondorf would have easy access to the Triforce.

"Screw it." Link thought, "Without the Triforce, what's the worst that can happen?"

Link walked into the shooting gallery and paid the man twenty rupees. Shooting things always calmed him down. He pretended the targets were people he hated. Navi. Tingle. Those death chickens. Zelda. If that bitch hadn't sent him back in time, he wouldn't have had to deal with Tingle or that Happy Mask Guy. Why did she have to send him back anyway? Stupid bitch. If she got her stupid ass kidnapped again, he wasn't going to rescue her again. He worked on a two-strike policy.

After he fired the last of his arrows, Link bought a newspaper for five rupees.

Apparently, the king of Hyrule was preparing to invade the Gerudo Desert and neighboring Terminia dimension. Link wished Hyrule the best of luck since he wasn't going to help. Helping involved a three-strike policy.

Speaking of Gerudo, it had been a while since he last visited that magic carpet guy. He sold all kinds of cool, useless stuff. Link needed the new cup-and-ball entertainment system. He had heard it used the latest stuff-attached-by-simple-string, or SABSS, technology.

Link left Kakariko Village and climbed onto Epona. He needed that cup-and-ball entertainment system, or CABES. He didn't care if he had to sneak past the Gerudos. CABES was the best thing since the poking stick scientific instrument or PoSSI.

"Hehehe, acronyms." Link giggled.

It was a normal day in the desert. A small raiding party had followed Link all the way to the flying carpet merchant. They hid behind a few misplaced crates, waiting as Link started his journey back to Hyrule Field.

As soon as it was clear Link was distracted by his cup-and-ball, they attacked. Link sent one flying with a well aimed punch, thanks to his silver gauntlets. Link punched out a second and kicked a third Gerudo before a fourth tackled him from behind. As soon as Link threw her off, two more jumped on him. A third opened a jar and dipped a rag into it. She then placed the rag onto Link's face, knocking him out with the fumes. They began carrying him to the fortress.

"Do you think it's him?" One asked.

"No doubt." a second responded, "Ganondorf's going to be pleased."

"All I know is I'm going to be pleased tonight." the first said, "Whether this guy is just as pleased is of no concern to me."

"Do you think Ganondorf's going to turn him into a monster?" a third asked.

"Probably not." the second explained, "Ganondorf will think of some use for him."

"I can think of a few good uses for him." The first commented.

"Just don't kill him." the third told her, "At least not before we get our turns."

"This is him." Ganondorf said as he looked at Link's unconscious body.

"What should we do with him?" Naburoo asked.

"For now, lock him up." Ganondorf ordered, "Right now, he is the biggest threat to my future empire. As long as he breathes, a new hero can't be born. With time, he may think of us as his family.

I want guards stationed there at all times. He may mate with no more than two and no fewer than one women a day."

"Yes sir." Naburoo told him before carrying Link to his cell.

Ganondorf grinned. Nobody could stop him. The gorons were at war with the kokiri. The zoras hated the Hylians. The Shiekah moved to Terminia after the whole moon business was sorted out. Link was going to stay with him until he learned to love Ganondorf like a father. Ganondorf pondered his next move.

Fishing. Fishing was a good father-son activity. Link likes fishing. All he has to do is conquer the fishing pond. And Hyrule Castle. He doesn't actually want the castle. At least not in this state. Too stereotypically good. Ganondorf was thinking of turning it all big and dark. Maybe a few spires in strategic locations. An inter-dimensional pit that led straight to Tingle's clock and underwear drawer.

Conquest could be another great father-son activity. Together, they would slay armies, burn towns, and command a vast army to do their bidding. Nothing bonded fathers and sons like a landscape covered in blood and flames.

Link woke up some time later. Judging from the light coming from the windows, it was still daytime.

"Where am I?" he asked as he slowly lifted himself off the ground.

"You don't remember this place?" one of the Gerudo guards asked.

"Why am I here?" Link asked, "I wasn't even anywhere near the fortress."

"Doesn't matter." the guard explained, "We need mates to produce offspring and Ganondorf needed you out of the way. Just to warn you, Gerudos never settle for bottom."

"You're telling me…"

"We're going to rape you. Every. Single. Day. You'll grow to love it after months of fearing every footstep you hear."

"That's reassuring." Link sarcastically told her.

"Escape and we track you down and saw off your legs." she warned, "Be a good boy and you'll earn some time to play with your cup-and-ball."

"My CABES!" Link shouted when he realized his cup-and-ball was missing, as well as the rest of his equipment. Even his underwear and tights were gone.

"I get first dibs." she told him, "You'll be screaming my name tonight."

"It's time." Ganondorf told himself as he walked into one of the smaller prisons. Unlike the main prison, this one was designed specifically for "special" prisoners. The room was filled with years of pleasure-filled screams and the spirits of men who died trying to survive the Gerudo women.

"No wonder we're going extinct." Ganondorf mused as he walked in front of Link's cell.

"What do you want?" Link spat.

"Can't I come in to see how you're doing?" Ganondorf asked.

"How I'm doing?" Link asked, "I'm trapped in a fortress of rapists."

"It's all so you can join your father." Ganondorf explained, "Believe me, I had to go through the same thing growing up."

"You killed my father. I was there. I saw Ghoma. I heard my father's last breath."

"You don't understand. That tree wasn't your father. I am your father. I met your mother in the castle town. During the war, she fled to the forest while I crushed armies in the desert."

"I'll never join you." Link spat.

"You'll join me eventually." Ganondorf reassured him, "You and I are more alike than you think. Neither of us like the king of Hyrule."

"He peed in my coffee." Link told him.

"Both of us have dreams of conquest." Ganondorf continued.

"Damn right. The Kokiri have had it too good for too long."

"Neither of us like the Great Deku Tree or Zelda."

"Bitch sent me on this quest." Link explained, "Damn tree waited how long to give me a fairy? Do you have any idea how elitist the Kokiri can be? Let me tell you. Those skull kids don't live in the Lost Woods by choice. No, that was segregation in action and the Great Deku Tree sat back and watched it all happen. Why, when they learned I was Hylian, those tree-hugger kids tried to kill me."

"Wouldn't you like to see them burn?" Ganondorf asked.

"I think they want to burn!" Link shouted.

"You think they want to burn?"

"Yes I do!" Link told him, "I think they want their village burned to the ground! They want there to be nothing left but ash and charred bones!"

"My, haven't we picked a first target."

"You have no idea the hell I went through when I was forced into the Lost Woods." Link told him.

"What happened?" Ganondorf inquired.

"Terminia happened." Link explained, "It was three days of the worst acid trip of your life, of anyone's life, happening over and over again in an endless loop. I saw the moon crash into the earth. I went through painful transformation sequences that I'm sure were nothing more than potion-induced hallucinations. I saw Tingle. Tingle! Evil has a catchphrase and it's 'Kaloo Limpah!' That's what happened, though I was also in a sweet rock band for a bit."

"I've been through hell too." Ganondorf reassured Link, "Do you have any idea what it's like being surrounded by women all the time? It took the strongest spells those witches could conjure up just to stop the Gerudos' infamous periods from turning into a massacre every month. I had to keep them all satisfied all the time. It started out great, but a man has his limits and there's no such thing as a Gerudo lesbian. That's why I'm preparing to conquer Hyrule. The king cut off our supply of men that aren't me."

"If I help, will you prevent the raping?"

"If you help, they'll be busy unintentionally wiping out the Hylian race. That should keep them busy for a while."

"It's a deal."

"The war starts in a week." Ganondorf told him, "We'll get you the best Gerudo armor. Remember that for each Hylian male you capture, there will be one fewer Gerudo mate for you."

"One week?" Link complained, "I want to burn Kokiri Village now!"

"The preparations take time." Ganondorf told him, "We need a nice, clean village bombing. No hitting below the belt. No eye gouges. Just a nice, clean war crime. Understand?"

Link nodded.

"Good." Ganondorf said with a smile, "If you're good, I'll take you fishing after your morning rape tomorrow."

After Ganondorf left, Link smiled. He had everything he ever wanted now. A war with his side committing the war crimes. A war criminal for a father. Fishing. What more could a guy ask for? A puppy. Surely Ganondorf would give him a puppy. Puppies are awesome.

Just then, the prison guard entered Link's cell and a new guard entered the room.

"I thought he'd never leave." the guard said as she began removing Link's few remaining clothes, "If what I heard is true, you'll be one of the few men in history to survive long enough for a second session."

Link gulped and looked for any available exit.

"Cooperate and it won't hurt." the guard reassured him, "At least not physically."

Without his silver gauntlets, Link had no way of escaping. He couldn't simply punch down the cell door or knock the horny guard out. When a Gerudo wanted something, a Gerudo got it and Link knew his body was going to be no exception.

Ganondorf walked outside and addressed his troops.

"Today, we start the first phase of our war." he told them, "Platoon A will secure Lake Hylia and, most importantly, the fishing pond. Platoon B, you'll find and investigate this Terminia place. Supposedly, it's another dimension or universe or something. It borders Hyrule somewhere in the Lost Woods. I'm instituting a kill-on-sight policy concerning the Kokiri."

The soldiers cheered.

"You can do whatever you want to them before you kill them. Just make sure you investigate Terminia. Terminia has a rock band. Platoon C will be in reserves. Now, go out there and kill, conquer, and investigate Terminia. Also, capture that rock band. We can teach them Free Bird."

Ganondorf watched the Gerudo soldiers leave. His thoughts soon turned to the Hylians. What were they planning? Ganondorf was sure his army could hold off any invasion. Worst case scenario, they're forced to evacuate to the Spirit Temple. From there, they can launch raids against the Hylians. There was no way the Hylians could survive the Haunted Wasteland.

After repelling the Hylian forces, Ganondorf would attack the castle. He would give the king to a lucky Gerudo soldier, who will unintentionally kill the king while mating. Zelda, he will capture alive for Link. Maybe he'll turn her into a wolf. Maybe an anthro-wolf. Link might be into furries. If not, he will be into them eventually.

Maybe he could convince the zoras or gorons to join him in his conquest. Nothing strikes fear into an enemy like sea monkeys and mole people. In return, he'll end Hyrule's long standing segregation policy.

What will he do after that? Ganondorf thought about it for a moment. He could have his army enslave the Rito bird people. He heard they might be able to survive mating with the Gerudos. If not, they're bird people. They'll blend right in with the sea monkeys and mole people. He hoped they could survive the mating. Ganondorf had his summer planned out.

1. Conquer Lake Hylia, secure the vital fishing pond, and investigate Termina.

2. Burn Kokiri Village to the ground. Leave no elf not-burned-to-death.

3. Conquer Hyrule castle, turn Zelda into an anthro-wolf for Link, and end Hyrulian segregation.

4. Enslave the Rito and hope they could survive the Gerudo mating process. If can't, they're bird people. Enslave them anyway and keep them as pets. Bird people!

5. Learn to play guitar.

6. Resurrect Kokiri and burn them to death again.

7. Repeat step six.

8. Come up with secret family handshake.

9. Teach Link secret family handshake.

10. Turn Epona into unicorn for PR purposes.

11. Build Santa's workshop, resurrect Kokiri again, and force them to work in Santa's workshop in sweatshop-like conditions. Capture and torture any escapees. Every weekend, burn them to death and then resurrect them again. No casual Fridays. Do not feed them. Resurrect them whenever they starve to death.

12. Start band with Link.

This was going to be the best summer ever!


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you ready to go fishing?" Ganondorf asked as he, Link, and a few Gerudo soldiers mounted their soldiers.

"Sure am." Link answered enthusiastically.

The small group rode into Hyrule Field.

"Hey dad?" Link asked, "What preparations do you need to make that's going to take a week? I have slain legions of bad guys, destroyed bosses ten times my size, and saved a world from complete lunar annihilation and I didn't plan ahead."

"This isn't a simple 'saving the world' scheme." Ganondorf answered, "You have to cut off escape routes while still keeping enough reserve units nearby in case the Hylians launch a counterattack. There's also the issue of diplomacy concerning Death Mountain's resident mole people and Hyrule's famous sea monkeys. Then you have Terminia, the Mushroom Kingdom, the Gamelonian toxic waste dump, the world of Pikmin, and many others. You can't just stop when you become dictator of one place. You have to be dictator of everything."

"I like absolute power." Link told him.

"We all do." Ganondorf chuckled, "We all do."

A half-hour later, they reached the edge of Lake Hylia.

"Here we are." Ganondorf announced, "The crown jewel of the new Gerudo empire: the fishing pond."

After they dismounted, they entered the fishing pond. Ganondorf paid the fee and then handed everyone their fishing pole.

"When you conquer everywhere, can I have my own people to oppress?" Link asked as he looked for a good spot to fish.

"Of course you can." Ganondorf told him, "And I'm sure you'll be incredibly oppressive. You'll bring new meaning to the word 'suffering'."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

Before long, the scouting party returned from Terminia with news for Ganondorf.

"What do you have to report?" Ganondorf asked once they were out of ear shot of Link.

"They have transformation mask technology." their group leader reported, "We've sent masks to the lakeside laboratory, as well as our own scientists. Soon, our magic technology will be the envy of Hyrule."

"This will help me turn Link into a full-blooded Gerudo. Can we make the transformation permanent?"

"It will be the most permanent permanency permanently." she explained, "So far, our scientists turned a Hylian prisoner into a desert tree. We named the boy tree Steve, even though he started out as a girl Hylian. He's quite decorative."

"What else have you learned?"

"They have pirates."

"That could prove decisive against the Hylian ninja technology." Ganondorf told her, "You are dismissed."

Ganondorf returned to Link just in time for Link to catch a 20-pound fish.

=====three hours later=====

"That was great." Link said as they mounted their horses and left, "What are your plans for Hyrule castle after you capture it?"

"Enslaving the inhabitants." Ganondorf answered, "The women will produce more male Hylians and the males will impregnate the Gerudos. Any women not producing litters will be put to work, as well as any infertile males. I'll also turn the castle's lawn into a golf course. I'll also install a fishing pond for our personal use while everyone else uses the lake one. I will also add a sock puppet theatre if they don't already have one."

"Everybody loves sock puppets."

"Indeed they do. Indeed they do."

=====two hours later=====

Link was busy playing catch with Ganondorf when Hylian troops were spotted crossing the canyon bridge.

"Hylian troops coming from the canyon!" a guard called out.

"Delay them as long as you can." Ganondorf told the guards, "Try to use diplomacy first. If that fails, kill them."

"Yes sir."

"Go inside and get some armor." Ganondorf then told Link, "It looks like we'll get some quality father-son time teaching the Hylians how this fortress got its nickname 'Meat Grinder'. I'll meet you out here."

Link ran into the fortress and came out ten minutes later clad head-to-toe in the finest Gerudo armor they had. Together, he and Ganondorf unsheathed their swords and led the Gerudo army into battle.

"You know the drill." Ganondorf called out, "Archers in the rear, first armor blocks the path, and second armor and standard infantry rush in and attack."

Like Ganondorf expected, the Hylians attacked the guards. After the archers launched a half dozen volleys of fire, Ganondorf and Link rushed in, followed by their infantry. The lighter but larger Hylian army was slowly but surely getting crushed. The few Hylians that did make it past the initial wave of infantry were slaughtered by the waiting iron knuckles.

Link sheathed his sword and began tossing bombs at the Hylians. With the last of his bombs gone, Link pulled out his sword once more and began hacking at the Hylian infantry. One Hylian tried to attack from behind, but his sword was stopped by Link's armor. Another's attack was stopped by Link's shield and a third's was stopped when Link sliced his head off.

When the Gerudo cavalry arrived, the surviving Hylians tried to make a run for safety. The cavalry quickly cut off their only escape route, forcing the Hylians to surrender.

"The women are going to be very happy all week." Ganondorf told Link as the Hylians were stripped of their weapons and forced to march to the fortress.

"That wasn't their main attack force." Ganondorf warned, "I want half the engineers to convert the Spirit Temple into a makeshift fortress and the other half to fortify Lake Hylia. Destroy the bridge and build a pathway to the lake. That's an order! They could attack again at any moment."

The engineers ran off to their respective destinations.

"That's the difference between our peoples." Ganondorf told the Hylians, "Gerudos don't hesitate. They don't wait until it's most convenient. Sun or rain, Gerudos aren't slackers."

"I never fought alongside an army before." Link told Ganondorf, "How did I do?"

"You did great, son." Ganondorf praised, "No Hylian would have thought to thin out enemy ranks with explosives before finishing the job with your sword. That's the Gerudo blood flowing through your veins."

"You think they'll send a second wave?" Link asked.

"No doubt. The Hylian military is incredibly stubborn. I want you to help fortify the fortress. Block the entrances and prepare some bombs and arrows. It's time you experienced a war on the defensive."

Link nodded as they returned to the fortress. As soon as the prisoners were escorted to their cells, everyone got to work fortifying the fortress. Link helped Ganondorf set up a series of barriers in one of the entrances. The first barrier blocked the entrance while the second one was erected ten feet behind the first. A hole in the metal wall allowed arrows to be launched and bombs to be thrown. An archer and a pair of iron knuckles waited behind the barrier for the next Hylian attack.

"In this phase of the battle, we'll stick to ranged attacks." Ganondorf told him, "Don't worry about any Hylians that break through the barriers. Armored Gerudos are unmatched in close-quarter combat. Just worry about thinning them out before our second wave of reinforcements strike."

Link waited impatiently for the second wave of Hylians. In just a few minutes, the Hylians launched a second attack. This second wave consisted of ten thousand Hylian troops, compared to the one thousand in the previous attack and four hundred remaining Gerudos. As soon as they got in range, Link started tossing bombs.

"Save your bombs for big, dense groups." Ganondorf told Link, "Use your arrows to snipe individual targets."

Link nodded and pulled out his bow. Ganondorf's advice made sense.

"How long until the second wave of reinforcements?" Link asked.

"By my calculations, at least a few minutes. Most likely a half-hour, though."

Link put away his bow and pulled out a bomb. The Hylians had managed to tear down the barricade two stories below Link and were clustering there. Link estimated that a few hundred Hylians lay dead or wounded on the ground below. The sounds of axes crushing light Hylian armor escaped from the halls below.

"They're breaking through!" Link shouted.

"They're no match for the iron knuckles." Ganondorf reassured Link, "Just focus on killing."

The battle raged on for fifteen minutes before a hundred mounted Gerudo archers arrived from the desert. They would rush in, unleash a volley of fire, and then retreat back into the sandstorm. Lacking any archers, the Hylians were powerless against the reinforcements.

Link liked this new style of warfare. No longer was he just one guy swinging swords and tossing bombs without any proper strategy. Now, every situation had a well-planned response. He could focus on one role at a time while someone else tackled a different role. Best of all, Link was supported by an army famous for bravery, tactics, and loyalty.

Link smiled. They really had a chance. He had a chance for something greater than mere hero. He now knew what it was like to be feared. He felt invincible baking in his metal armor.

In just under an hour, the second Hylian wave was forced to retreat.


	3. Chapter 3

Six short days had passed since the Hylian attacks. Ganondorf spent the week stocking up on arrows, bombs, and potions for his army as well as training Link. Before the invasion started at midnight, Ganondorf called Link to the laboratory.

"Everything we're about to give you is fresh from R&D." Ganondorf told Link, "First, try on this mask."

Link put on the mask and felt a surge of pain course through his body.

"That is the suffering of a true warrior." Ganondorf told Link, "It will make you stronger."

Link looked at his hands after the painful transformation was complete. He then pulled out one of his hairs, which confirmed his suspicions.

"You're now a full-blooded Gerudo." Ganondorf told Link, "Any Hylian weaknesses are now replaced by Gerudo strengths. Now, try on your new armor."

Link obeyed and was surprised by how light it was.

"That's the new iron knuckle armor." Ganondorf explained, "It protects better, it's lighter, and it doesn't interfere with movement as much."

Link grabbed his new sword and shield.

"Those are also lighter and stronger." Ganondorf explained, "The sword now hacks, cuts, and stabs better. The shield can take far more abuse now."

"Thank you." Link told Ganondorf, "I've rarely received such help when I was busy saving the world."

"You've more than earned it." Ganondorf told him, "Now, let's assault the castle and capture you a princess."

Link followed Ganondorf outside to the waiting army. At midnight, everyone mounted their horses and set off. A half-hour later, they reached the castle. Everyone was disturbed by how quiet everything seemed. It was too quiet. Even the draw bridge was down.

"First group, guard the entrance." Ganondorf ordered, "Second group, follow me."

Link, Ganondorf, and the second group rode into town. They climbed off their horses and searched every house door to door. Other than the occasional armed resident, they faced no opposition.

"Something's definitely not right." Ganondorf thought out loud, "Where are the guards?"

With the town secured, they began their assault on the castle. Again, they got off their horses and busted down doors. Immediately, they were greeted by a hail of arrows.

"I was afraid you guys had left town." Ganondorf chuckled as his forces crushed the Hylians. Before long, the demoralized Hylians surrendered without inflicting a single Gerudo casualty.

"That was just sad." Ganondorf told them, "Where is the king?"

"He left with the army and guards." one of them answered, "We're just the servants. After his forces were humiliated in the desert, he decided to combine forces with the Kokiris."

"That's a disappointment."

"What are you going to do to us?" a maid asked.

"I haven't decided yet." Ganondorf answered, "There are so many uses for cannon fodder like you. First, where is Zelda?"

"She's up in her room." a cook told him, "The king told her he could always produce another heir."

Ganondorf smiled. For a moment, he was afraid Link wouldn't get another present today.

"Find the princess." Ganondorf told two of his soldiers, "Bring her to me. I have a present for her."

The two soldiers followed the cook as he led them to Zelda's room. Twenty minutes later, they dragged her down to Ganondorf.

"What do you want?" she spat.

"Why, a present for Link, of course."

Ganondorf pulled a wolf mask out of a sack he carried on his back and forced it onto her face. Zelda shrieked as it felt like her entire body was being frozen, burned, pulled, crushed, stabbed, cut, and flayed at the same time. Seconds later, the transformation was complete.

Zelda collapsed to the floor, shaking. Her world was falling apart. Her father had abandoned her, her home was taken by the enemy, her body was transformed into a beast, and her fate was uncertain to her. She barely noticed an iron knuckle approach her.

"Happy birthday, Link." Ganondorf said, "That armor, that transformation, this battle, and this princess were all for you."

"I… I don't know what to say, dad." Link said, trying desperately to hold back his tears, "This is the best day of my life."

"Link, is that you?" Zelda asked, not sure how her new wolf muzzle was letting her talk.

"Yes, it's me." he said as he removed his helmet. Zelda had no doubts now. Gerudo or not, this was Link.

"What are you doing fighting for Ganondorf?" Zelda asked him.

"I learned a week ago that he's my dad." Link explained, "He's teaching me how to be an oppressive dictator, a ruthless conqueror, and how to do the secret family handshake he came up with. It's awesome."

"What are you going to do to me?" Zelda asked Ganondorf.

"Your fate is up to Link." Ganondorf explained, "You're his wolf-slave now. Anything he wants you to do, you'll do. If he wants doggy-style, he'll get doggy-style."

"You want to fuck like the animal you are?" Link asked her.

"I'm not sure if it's the new animal hormones…" Zelda explained, "or the fact that I always liked you, but yes. Come to my room and take away my virginity."

Ganondorf watched the pair leave with pride before he started barking orders.

"You three, find a location suitable for a private fishing pond. You four, start work on the golf course. You and your division will tell first group to turn the town into a makeshift fortress. The rest of you, this castle is too white and boring. Make it all dark and awesome. Put skeletons in the right places, add some sinister spires, and build a roller coaster, maybe a teacup ride, and a sock puppet theatre if you have time."

The Gerudos got to work. If there were four things the Gerudos were good at, they were rape, war, sock puppet theatre, and construction. They weren't as good as the engineers, but they could build a fort or turn a boring castle into an awesome castle.

Today was a good day and it wasn't even daylight yet. Link got his first conquered city and his first sex slave. Ganondorf got a new city and a castle that he was going to make awesome. The Gerudos had just completed their first successful offensive and had Hyrule's capital city to show for it. His next target was Kakariko Village. Conquer that and he'd have access to the lair of the underground mole people. They ate rocks. Rock eating was always useful.

Ganondorf could ask the zoras for help in attacking Kakariko Village, but that was a Wednesday thing. Today wasn't Wednesday. The assault on Kakariko Village had to wait. Today, he was going to learn the king's secret recipe.

Now, where would the king keep his secret recipe? If the king were there, Ganondorf would punch the answer out of him. Maybe he would poke the king's ribs with a stick. Nothing too bad. Ganondorf was saving his worst for the Kokiri. Those bastards were going to learn the meaning of "spleen replacement" first hand.

+++++- ten hours later-+++++

So far, everything was going smoothly. The golf course and fishing pond were finished. The castle was getting an ominous coat of paint. Construction began on the roller coaster. Ganondorf had instituted Terror Tuesday, Thirsty Thursday (drinks are half-priced all day Thursday every week), and Casual Friday throughout the conquered city. Ganondorf was already planning his attack on Kakariko Village.

"We'll need to open up a second front." he thought, "We'll need the Gorons. Not the Zoras. The king of Hyrule may be planning something. It would be best to save them as a secret weapon when we invade the forest.

Give the village an ultimatum. Surrender or be starved and bombed. Once the town surrenders, fortify it."

Ganondorf's train of thought was interrupted by shouting down the hall.

"You can't do that!" a Hylian man yelled, "You can enslave us, you can kill us the moment you don't feel like keeping an eye on us, but you can't do that!"

"Who's the conquerors?" the Gerudo countered, "And who's the one who was abandoned by his king?"

"I was just about to think of what to do with Kakariko Village when we capture it!" Ganondorf yelled, "What are you arguing about?"

"The Hylians in this castle are our slaves, are they not?" the Gerudo asked.

"They are." Ganondorf answered.

"She wants to put me in a dress!" the Hylian man argued.

"I wanted him to look pretty." the Gerudo countered.

"I'm a man." the Hylian man explained, "Hylian men don't wear dresses."

"I'm sorry no one explained to you how this works." Ganondorf told the Hylian, "We are the conquerors. You are the conqueree. What we tell you to do, you do. Not sex yet. We'll have to build up your endurance so that you don't die off and we don't run out of slaves. My point is: if we want you to look pretty, you are going to look pretty.

Now, you're not the only one confused here. Why so you have sex-specific clothing?"

"What, you don't?" the Hylian asked.

"I'm the first male Gerudo in a hundred years." Ganondorf told him, "For us, there wasn't a point, really. It was unfortunate for me since Gerudos aren't lesbians, don't experiment, and don't always want to walk or ride all the way to the nearest Hylian settlement for a quick one-night stand.

My point is, shut up. Some people like to hear whining. Gerudos aren't those people."

Ganondorf walked away, confident that the Hylian had learned the value of shutting up.

"You heard him." he heard the Gerudo tell the Hylian, "You have a pretty, pretty princess play date with the others."

"You have to set limits." Ganondorf told himself, "If you let them get away with this madness, this 'clothing based on your role in reproduction' weirdness, then they'll test your limits by listening to 'country rap' with lyrics dealing with improper utensil usage and… and other things."

Ganondorf shuddered at the mental images flowing through his mind.

"Their king has poisoned their minds. That bastard should know that it was my job to poison minds, not his. That Gerudo may be on to something. Note to self: schedule mandatory dress-up time for all conquered Hylians. Failure to comply will result in loss of fishing privileges."

Ganondorf didn't like the King of Hyrule too much. The king called Ganondorf fat, razed Ganondorf's sand castles to the ground, and only gave Ganondorf clothes on his birthday. Jerk.

Ganondorf was going to have the last laugh, though. He transformed the king's daughter into a furry (the king hated furries), reinstated whimsy in the capital of Hyrule, turned the boring castle into a badass castle, and was already better liked by the citizens of Hyrule.

All that was left was to capture the king's squash court. Why couldn't the king have left the squash court behind instead of taking it with him? Ganondorf's blood boiled at the thought of all the fun the king was having with that squash court.

"I'll show him." Ganondorf told himself, "My empire is going to be way better than his. I'll strip him of his authority so that he'll have no choice but to see how awesome my empire is."

Defeating the king would come at a price, though. The forest was a natural fortress and the Kokiri were crafty little bastards. Ganondorf just wanted to kick their snotty-little faces.

Ganondorf began running some calculations in his head. He knew the king still had thousands of soldiers left, most of them among the best in the world since the king only risked poorly-trained conscripts. Investing entirely in a frontal assault could wipe out most of the combined Gerudo-Goron-Zora forces. Even the mighty iron knuckle had its limits. Ganondorf had to divide his forces and attack at multiple fronts. He would have his engineers construct mini-forts. If he could conquer the Moblin city-states, he could use their soldiers to disrupt the Hylian-Kokiri was effort.

He will have his best and brightest come up with improvements to Link's prototypical armor. It wasn't scary enough. Not by a long shot. If he was going to teach Link how to be a great evil king, he needed Link to be feared. You can't do that unless you're scary.

Ganondorf didn't like the idea of Link risking his life against the elves, but he already promised he'd let Link burn the Kokiri. This promise wasn't some deathbed wish or wedding vow. This was a promise involving arson-related war crimes. You never break those.

Now he had to throw Link a proper birthday party.


	4. Chapter 4

Link and Zelda woke up from their nap.

"That was amazing." Link told Zelda.

"It was, wasn't it?" Zelda agreed, "Why are you working for Ganondorf again?"

"I found out he's my father." Link explained, "Plus, he keeps the raping to a minimum. Gerudo women are notoriously horny and won't settle for toys or lesbianism."

"Pity. An army of a few thousand with only a few to keep them satisfied."

"We should probably get going." Link told her, "If I'm late for whatever he doesn't inform me about, Ganondorf's going to increase the number of Gerudos I have to satisfy every day."

"Wait." Zelda told him as he reached for his tunic. There was just something about his new, pure Gerudo body that gave Zelda an urge, a need, that she's never experienced before. "I have to dress you."

"Come again?"

"I have to dress you." Zelda explained, "That body. That hair. I… I have to dress you. Please, this is even more important than any Bingo Night or anything else for that matter."

"Even more important than that magazine about hot girls kissing other hot girls that I have?" Link asked, "The one with you on the cover?"

"More important than that." Zelda explained, "Gerudos don't kiss each other?"

"Unless you count me or Ganondorf, no. Believe me, a few of them tried when the supply of fertile men got cut off. It was just awkward. It wasn't even that hot. What were we talking about again?"

Zelda pulled a dress out of her closet and told Link.

"I have to dress you. I've been saving this dress for just this occasion. It's your size."

"Why would you keep a dress that doesn't really fit you?" Link asked.

"So that we could be dress buddies." Zelda explained, "Look, you even get gloves. Me, I'm content with just wearing a skirt and walking around half-naked."

"Wha? I'd ask if the transformation fried your brain, but that wouldn't explain why you prepared for this ahead of time."

"Always be prepared." Zelda told him, "Not just regular prepared. Always be crazy Keeseman prepared. You never know when a can of shark-repellant spray is going to come in handy. Now shut up and let me dress you."

"Of all the girls to get transformed into my dog, it had to be the crazy one."

"You know you want to wear it."

"I do." Link told her, "Is there something in the water here?"

"Not really. Now quit fighting and let me dress you."

"You're going to be late." A Gerudo told him as she opened the door.

"Let me dress you." Zelda told Link.

"Let the bitch dress you." the Gerudo told him, "We don't want the female prisoners/slaves to get any ideas.

Link tried to hold back the cursing as Zelda got to work. Prince or not, he still ranked pretty low in the Gerudo hierarchy. When Zelda was done, the Gerudo grabbed Link's arm and dragged him out of the room.

"I don't know what you're complaining about." the Gerudo told Link, "I thought those were royal clothes. You're royalty, are you not?"

"They're girl clothes." Link told her.

"Clothes have no sexual organs."

"Hyrulean culture is different from Gerudo culture." Link explained, "For example, women don't outnumber men four thousand to two. They've developed different clothing styles for men and women."

"You're Gerudo now." the Gerudo explained, "Gerudos don't make 'boy clothes' or 'girl clothes'. We just make clothes, mostly since it would be pointless to design completely different clothing for just one or two guys a century. That's why you have to wear a bra."

"Can't I just not wear a bra?" Link asked.

"Which one of us is going to get a new pair of big breasts later?"

"What?"

"We Gerudo have our own unique blend of conformity and individuality." she explained, "Don't worry. Ganondorf has breasts under that armor. Flat chests are weird."

"Everyone's weird." Link countered, "You give men breasts. Zelda has a weird dress fetish. Ganondorf has a lot of issues best not delved into. The King of Hyrule abandoned a well-stocked and easily defended castle as well as hundreds of support personnel. The Kokiri are a group of racist dicks. I'd say flat chests are pretty normal by comparison."

"Not really."

"You wouldn't understand." Link told her, "Guys have flat chests. You would know that if you knew guys that you didn't give big breasts to."

When they reached the party, the Gerudo blocked the door to keep Link from explaining.

"Nice clothes." Ganondorf told him, "Who gave them to you."

"Zelda did." Link told him.

"I made him look pretty." Zelda explained as she walked into the room. Like Link feared, she was only wearing a long skirt, "We're dress buddies."

"What did I see in you?" Link asked.

"A dress buddy!" Zelda told him.

"At least the sex was good." Link said, "I never want to wear this thing again."

"What's so bad about wearing that?" Ganondorf asked, "I've seen you wear skirts before."

"It's women's clothing." Link explained, "and my tunic is not a skirt. It's just a shirt."

"You're a Gerudo." Ganondorf countered, "Being the only two male Gerudo around, all we get is women's clothing. Frankly, neither of us can wear Hyrulean pants. Not with our large reproductive organs."

"You have a point." Link admitted, "Can we do something about Zelda? Her four furry boobs are creeping me out."

"They keep Tingle out of Hyrule." Ganondorf explained, "If we covered them up, that fairy dude will float right in here and sell us maps. Do you want that? Do you want his maps."

"This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder." Link complained, "First, Zelda gets turned into a dog."

"Wolf." Ganondorf corrected.

"Then I get put in a dress." Link continued.

"Women like a man whose genitals aren't crushed and cooked by pants." Ganondorf explained, "They like your new outfit."

"They like anything I wear as long as it involves no underwear. Even now, they're having a hard time keeping their eyes off my crotch. Can't you have those Twinrova witches cook up some lesbianism potion or something."

"Just be glad those witches solved the infamous monthly massacres." Ganondorf told Link, "Not to mention the devastating rape surges that have haunted Gerudo men since the first Gerudo man had his virginity forcefully taken from him when he and the first Gerudo woman started work on their first child. Since then, we Gerudo men have been both their masters and their slaves. You can be sure that when this first stage of our war is over, we'll be put back to work satisfying their lust."

"That's horrible. I mean, you expect this sort of behavior in Mute City or Cerinia. Maybe even your average Burger Overlord: Oppression on a Bun. But here? In this modern age of harvested pixie dust and mass-produced Crusades? Our space agency put a man in a tree. Our best military minds have combined pointy sticks with throwing to come up with the "throw pointy stick" tactic. We attached a ball to a cup on a stick by a length of string. It's safe to say we're a technologically advanced people. We should know better."

"You've spent too much time among the Hylians." Ganondorf told Link, "It's the natural order! There's nothing natural about pants, but that's what they wear! Pants! They're freaks! If you were a real feared warrior, drenched in manly sweat and the female reproductive juices of a dozen satisfied women, you'd proudly prance gaily in the girliest dress you could find. You'd, well, the women would force you to love another male for their sick amusement. It makes them hornier. The last I saw of Bill, he was having a heart attack in the middle of sexual intercourse with Nabooru. With his dying breath, he said he loved me. That's why homosexuality is banned. It only turns the women on more, unless it's lesbianism. That just grosses them out. Then they start the punishment sex. Each thrust felt like it was shattering my pelvis. My heart could barely handle the stress. I had to be fed in bed, for I could neither stand nor walk for weeks. Then I met your mother. After fleeing from game show hosts during the war, she tried to hide in the forest. The Great Deku Tree found and killed her and raised you as the next offering to the flames of hatred, slaughter, and daytime television. I got so much punishment sex when they learned the sex was consensual. Even now, my crotch bares the scars of the hardship. To this day, they look at my crotch with anger and lust…."

Link watched Ganondorf collapse into a ball, shaking and struggling to turn sounds into words.

"And now he has shellshock." Link thought, "There has to be a way out of this nightmare. After the battle, I could secretly make a run for it. I heard Terminia's Gerudo Pirates need a fifth member for their four-Gerudo band. We'll prep the fleet and start a wholesome, wonderful new life of pillage and plunder like all good, selfless people do. Arson is always a sign of righteousness, as is needless slaughter of innocents. I'll be a saint!"

"Right here, right now!" Nabooru demanded, "You and the wolf chick will make love for our amusement. 69. You can take off the dress, but the boots and gloves stay on."

Link could smell the hormones in the air. Something told him he wasn't going to get any rest until morning and that no woman in that room was going to leave untouched and unsatisfied.

"But we already did it this morning." Link explained.

"I wouldn't mind putting our tongues to better use." Zelda told him seductively.

"What is it with you women?" Link asked, "All you think about is sex. Sex and mathematics.

"They go together." Nabooru explained, "Each act correlates with a different mathematical function AND at least one formula. Why, the simple act of sucking your cock when our vaginas aren't in the mood requires heavy use of quadratic equations. Cowgirl uses advanced Algebra. 69 requires the memorization and application of the Order of Operations™. Doggy style is impossible without factoring in the mathematical relationship between gravity and at least three unique types of time, like standard, subatomic, inter- and intrauniversal, etc."

"Are you high?" Link asked, "It's like your blood fermented or something."

"High with lust." Nabooru told him, "High with lust. Now get started on that 69. Don't forget PEMDAS^2. You better hurry up. I don't think Zelda can hold out much longer and you don't want to upset someone who has your wiener in mouth."

"Do you listen to yourself talk?"

"I tune it out sometimes." Nabooru told him, "Now shut up and get started. The girls and I are waiting for our show."

"You're a bitch."

"And you're going to be tongue-deep in wolf pussy." Nabooru taunted.

"I hate you.", Link told her, "I hate each and every one of you horny little rapist sluts."

"We know you love us." Nabooru told him, "and we love you. Mostly your penis. It's why your sex was put on this planet. To be the sex toys of my sex, since the only alternatives would be ignoring our favorite need and the most disgusting act ever conceived by two horny girls with wicked intentions."

"Interpretive dance?" Link asked, "Everything else you believe is a Frankenstein monster of random ideas, concepts, and incomplete thoughts."

"I'm talking about lesbian sex." Nabooru explained. Every Gerudo woman in the room shuddered, "The very idea, the very concept, application, and enjoyment of it reeks of failure and ill intent. To think that two members of the master sex could engage in it without the sexual inclusion of the slave sex can't possibly be born of good intentions."

"There were few men anywhere near the fortress. From my understanding, you need sex more than you need air."

"That's why we have slaves like you and Ganondorf." she explained as she removed Link's dress and helped Zelda force him to the floor, "It's why we'll enslave the Rito to capitalize on their ability to survive the rigors of Gerudo sex. It's why we'll change the world order for the better. We fight and you fuck."

"Normally, I'd welcome such a change." Link told Nabooru, "But there's something about getting raped by desert Amazonians that doesn't fill me with the expected joy and excitement."

"Sounds like someone needs more punishment sex. Don't worry. We won't rest, we won't even slow down until you're loving your new place in the world."

"Adventuring wasn't so bad." Link told himself, "I made some friends. I killed some friends. I even ate some friends. Steve was delicious. Patty could have used some seasoning, though. She tasted like half-burnt bacon grease mixed in dirty pond water that's spent the last few years aging and fermenting like wine. I had to give up cannibalism after that. Hylian flesh just wouldn't taste the same after the burnt-bacon lady. No wonder people called her 'Pretty Putrid Patty'. The alliterative appeal was just too much."

"You fail to realize the plurality of the situation." Nabooru warned.

"And you fail to realize the singularity of the situation." Link countered, "and how it goes to define the plurality in a cause:effect relationship."

"You win this round." Nabooru growled.

"Really? I was just making a long sentence out of random words and phrases."

"Remove skirt and mount slave." Nabooru ordered. Zelda removed her skirt and sat on top of Link's chest. "Insert penis."

Zelda obeyed, grabbing Link's cock and inserting it into her mouth.

"Link, insert tongue A into slot B."

Link disobeyed Nabooru.

"I repeat, insert tongue A into slot B before mouth C bites down on rod D."

Link reluctantly obeyed, sending shivers up Zelda's spine. Zelda squealed in delight.

"That's a good boy." Nabooru told him, "Keep this up and we might just reduce the planned increase from at least eight down to no more than five."

"This sucks." Link thought, "I'm doing way less killing than I wanted. Kokiri Village is still in a not-burned state. The King of Hyrule is probably laughing at me from his Armchair of Deceit™. Meanwhile, here I am licking a wolf's pussy for the entertainment of horny Amazonians in one of the few instances I wished the women around me were lesbians."

=====The next morning=====

"We can't keep risking him." Nabooru argued, "Plus, Gerudos that aren't fighting get pretty horny and I doubt we have enough expendable Hylians to keep them satisfied."

"I see your point." Ganondorf told her, "Nonetheless, he is a key asset on the battlefield. He has a piece of the Triforce, the idiot part, and he knows the forest terrain better than any other Gerudo. The girls just need to learn a little self control."

"I'm afraid that's the problem." Nabooru told him, "There's no way to teach them enough self control in such a short time to keep them from destroying everything."

"Are you sure they aren't at least bisexual?" Ganondorf asked, "Surely, they can learn to not hate it so much."

Nabooru was shocked.

"I'd expect that question from a Hylian." she told him, "Never a Gerudo. No, Gerudo women won't kiss each other, won't hold each other's hand in a romantic way, and have never and will never engage in a sexual relationship with one another. They need dick and lots of it."

"They'll have to suck it up." he told her, "We're in a war, not an orgy. Tell them they'll have to keep their pants on until Kakariko Village is secured, Kokiri Village is burned, the Rito are made into our pets and sex slaves, and good relations are formed between Terminia and the Gerudo empire."

"They're not going to like that." Nabooru warned, "You're asking for a bloodbath."

"Control the women." Ganondorf ordered, "This isn't sex, so I'm in charge now. Control them now or I'll control them by sending them in a suicide run against the Hylian-Kokiri defenses. Survivors will be spayed."

"They'll survive, they'll return, and they'll exact their revenge. I'll give the orders, but you should lock your door tonight. In fact, you should probably sleep with Link and Zelda with the dresser and bed against the door. They'll cool off in the morning."

"I'll keep that in mind." Ganondorf told her, "Back to business, how are the Kakariko Village's defenses looking?"

"They're rebelling against the king's guards." she explained, "Reports indicate the militia will fight by our side in liberating their town. It's unknown if they'll lend support in the attack on the forest."

"What about the Gorons?"

"They're ready to attack the king's troops."

"What about the Zoras?"

"They're prepping an invasion force."

"What do we know about the Rito?"

"Their military consists of a few guards. Capture their chief and they'll surrender. We can have them here within a few hours."

"Good. Move the majority of our reserves back to the fortress. Have the main invasion force ready in a few hours. I want it to be entirely infantry. Attack in one wave, spreading out to create maximum confusion for the king's forces. Afterwards, have the engineers build defenses."

"Yes sir."

"Send a platoon to secure the ranch. I have a feeling there the young woman there is a bit of a bisexual, if not a lesbian, and can keep Zelda busy here during the invasion. Maybe put her in a horse suit or something. Have to stick to a theme."

"Yes sir."

"Control your women or I'll have each and every one of them entombed alive inside the Spirit Temple's walls. I'm instituting a sex-free policy until after the Kakariko attack. Violators will be forced into lesbian sex. Kissing won't be optional. Also, have our scientists come up with some sort of lesbian potion or something. If they're that desperate, don't make it optional."

"Yes sir."

The two left the meeting room and went their separate ways.

"We need a new leader." Nabooru thought, "That bastard needs to learn his place."


	5. Chapter 5

"Why can't I join the attack on Kakariko?" Link asked, disappointed.

"I'm sending my horniest troops there." Ganondorf told him, "You do not want to be there when their pants come off and the raping begins. Besides, I need you to help me with a plan of mine."

"What kind of plan?" Link asked.

"I need to create a team of superheroes." Ganondorf told him, "Or supervillians. I don't exactly know how it's going to work. They'll enforce my laws and help people, but this is an 'evil' empire and I am working on a giant spherical doomsday device capable of leveling towns, flattening mountains, and making tables all wobbly."

"I like the idea." Link said, "I have two ideas for a super whatever and sidekick. 'The Dragon' and 'Unicorn Lad'. They're based on myths and fairytales and they're out to slay our enemies wherever they may belch."

"I like it."

"The Dragon is the leader of the two and a female. Their favorite activities are Roadkill Bingo, dancing, and bondage."

"Where do they live?"

"They live here, in the Castle of Awesome." Link explained, "They're saving up for a doomsday device capable of generating a black hole that will swallow this entire planet."

"Really?"

"Yeah. They converted the dungeon into their headquarters. The torture chamber is their library. They also converted the iron maiden into a cabinet for their Iron Maiden collection. Their favorite song is Fear of the Dark."

"Great song."

"Would you like to meet them, dad?" Link asked.

"I would, son. I'm so proud of you. You're wearing a fancy princess dress, you brought explosives to a sword fight, and you know a superhero and her sidekick. You also expressed interest in arson and cheap, pseudo-child labor. I couldn't ask for a better son."

"I like dressing up like an animal."

"And you fucked a wolf furry. You just keep getting better and better. This could only get better if you became my daughter."

"I have expressed interest." Link told him, "I sometimes draw naked pictures of myself with boobs and a vagina. I look down at my own naked body and am saddened to see my male organ."

Link decided to lead Ganondorf to the Dragon and Unicorn Lad before he had a heart attack.

=====meanwhile=====

"Just this once." Zelda begged.

"You're lucky you're Link's fuck toy." The Gerudo growled, "If you weren't, I'd give you a 'desert summer' experience by shoving you in an oven."

"Nobody will know." Zelda continued.

"How many times do I have to explain it to you?" The Gerudo asked, "I. Am. Not. A. Lesbian. Go find and fuck Link."

"I want to do this for him." Zelda pleaded, "It turns him on. You and I can do it while another Gerudo does Link."

"The idea sickens me." the Gerudo warned, "I may be a lot of things. A thief. A murderer. A rapist. Stupid. Two things I'm not are a les and bi. Now, go play dress-up with Link."

"He's busy showing Ganondorf our superhero collection."

"We have superheroes?" The Gerudo asked.

"They played bingo with us last night. They gave you that tattoo. They were the only ones flying around. How could you not notice them?"

"Can you take me to them?"

"You know my price." Zelda told her, "Lights on, no sheets, bondage, and I'm the dom."

"Fine. I'll find them myself."

"Can I at least kiss you… down there? I'll let you pretend I'm Link."

"I'm really tempted to pull out my blade and skin you right here right now."

"Someone's feeling a little kinky."

"Shut up!" the Gerudo yelled, "Just shut up. You're worse than we are."

As soon as the Gerudo left the room, Zelda sighed.

"Why do they always play hard to get?" she asked herself, "I would have gladly done all the work."

=====the dungeon- twenty minutes later=====

"What's the invasion plan so far?" the Dragon asked.

"The main Gerudo-Goron forces attack from the west, targeting the main gate." Ganondorf explained, "The Zoras and Gerudo archers attack from the northern river. A third force, consisting of the best troops in the alliance, attack from the southeast. They'll be in charge of arson, demolition, and creating as much chaos as possible. Their main targets are enemy supplies. Engineers will build a wall around the enemy forces in order to contain and starve them into submission."

"Sounds good." the Dragon told him, "The problem is, they have superior numbers. Any attack will result in huge casualties."

"Plan B involved raids and containment." Ganondorf told her, "The first step is to build a wall around the enemy forces. Next, our best troops go in and burn Kokiri Village to the ground, leaving no Kokiri survivors. Then, it's a simple matter of attacking their supplies and keeping them contained."

"That has the biggest chance of working."

"It's not the flashiest battle plan." Ganondorf sighed, "The Gorons and Zoras are going to hate it."

"Let them." Zelda told him as she entered the room, "You're in charge outside the orgies and bedchamber. You're a town, forest, and ranch away from ruling Hyrule. They need to know who's name will be feared for generations, even after your death."

"Why are you in here?" Ganondorf demanded.

"None of the Gerudos will agree to lesbian sex." Zelda told him, "So I came to visit Link."

"I met Unicorn Lad." Link told her, "I couldn't understand a word he said. I don't know if it's his mask or if he's wearing a gag or something."

"We should probably make more preparations for the battle." Ganondorf told the Dragon.

"What kind of preparations?" she asked.

"First, we enslave the Rito." he explained, "and draft them as our air force. They'll drop bombs onto the enemy."

"You don't seem convinced this plan of yours will succeed."

"It's the king." Ganondorf told her, "A clever bastard like that won't make this his last stand. He has something planned, something sinister. A man who pees in other peoples' coffee doesn't go down easily."

"Unicorn Lad and I will come to your aid." the Dragon assured him, "It's been a while since we last battled such villainous scum. Their faces will do our fists good."

"Indeed it will. What do you think of the Terminians"

"Good, hard-working people." she answered, "Technologically advanced. They've already achieved fuel-powered engines, space flight, and miniature golf. Diplomacy seems like the best answer."

"I was leaning more towards conquest." Ganondorf told her, "Their technology and wealth will benefit our empire greatly. Plus, it will double the size of our empire. In exchange for their surrender, they'll keep their governments intact."

"You're the boss."

=====four hours later=====

Ganondorf toured the newly conquered Kakariko Village.

"A fine town for my collection." he told himself.

Around the corner, the cucco lady was being held captive by two Gerudo soldiers. As soon as he was within a few yards, they forced the cucco lady into a submissive bow.

"She'll make a great slave." one of the Gerudos told him.

"For Link." he told them, "Take her to the castle and get her prepped. Teach her how to please him and Zelda. Also, teach her to clean. She'll be their maid in addition to their fucktoy."

"Yes, my lord." the Gerudo told him before forcing the cucco lady to stand and taking her away.

"I hope Link likes cougars." he thought, "The boy needs to learn how to be a good conqueror and part of that involves getting everyone to work for you. It doesn't matter if they're sucking this or filing that under whatever. Just keep them busy working for you."

Ganondorf smiled. The town had a new aura of fear. Fear and Metal. The empire needed a national anthem. Something from Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath. Maybe Dio. Dio rocks, though there won't be any killing of dragons.

Speaking of dragons, the Dragon seemed disturbed. She was clearly insane and enjoyed inflicting pain and lighting fires. In other words, she was his kind of women. Too bad she was already married to that unicorn fellow.

All around him, the Gerudos were making everyone work. Men washed windows and repaired roofs. Women repaired plumbing and argued sports as they repaired carriages in their garages. It did Ganondorf's heart good to smell such blood, sweat, and fear.

In Hyrule Field, Lon Lon Ranch had also fallen to the Gerudos. Malon had been captured and taken to the castle to be another of Link's slaves. The Gerudo soldiers knew that Ganondorf would reward them with stickers. Stickers and pieces of candy. Not coconut or mint, though. Those kinds suck.

=====Ganondorf's Castle of Awesome=====

"Your new slaves will be ready soon." a Gerudo informed Link.

"What should we do with them?" Link asked.

"First, I dress them." Zelda told him, "Then we can all be dress buddies. If they're female, I can show you how I got on the cover of that magazine of yours."

"Do you think I will be a girl someday?" Link asked.

"Someday, you'll be a beautiful woman that I can fuck while our girl slaves also fuck."

"Ganondorf promised to make me a herm." Link told her, "A somewhat feminine herm with working reproductive things and pee only coming out of my original pee hole."

Zelda fell onto her bed, drooling with lust as she thought of a girly Link.

"I hope he makes you one soon, my favorite Gerudo." she told him lustfully, "Though I'll still show you what you mean to me in the meantime."

"With nachos?" Link asked.

"And all the juice you can drink." Zelda assured him.

"You sure know how to make me happy." Link told her.

"And you'll one day make me the happiest princess ever to have her kingdom swiftly conquered by some guy bent on world domination." Zelda told him, "When does Ganondorf conquer the Rito?"

"After he has the engineers finish the containment wall." Link answered, "And before he launches the raids."

"And what about after that?"

"We start with the rest of the world." Link tells her, "Let's see. We'll take advantage of the Mushroom Kingdom's civil war between the loyalists and the Koopa separatists and invade when they're at their weakest. There's Terminia and that island that whale dreamt up. There's that dream world with that frog guy. Those F-Zero places have some nice stuff and the Lylat region is full of furries. Basically, everywhere Nintendo related is a target."

"What about Third-Partya?" Zelda asked.

"They're too powerful right now, after their annexations of Ataria and Segaland."

Zelda loved it when Link talked conquest. Not as much as boobs, but almost as much. Slightly more than beer, though. Nachos? That's up for debate.

"You're the best dress-buddy ever." Zelda told him as she started to hug him.

"I miss running around naked." Link told her.

"You'll get to do that when you get boobs." Zelda told him, "Nobody wants to see guys doing that for some reason, mostly political. I almost lost the election for that reason. Almost lost the macaroni and cheese demographic to Sir Loin of Carneceria. Maybe Ganondorf can get rid of those anti-male-nudity laws."

"I thought you were a lesbian."

"Just because I am one doesn't mean I don't like cock."

"I thought it did."

"Just shut up and hug me."

=====Rito village=====

"All we have to do is get to the chief." The Gerudo captain said, "He'll be the one in the fancy robe-dress thing."

"How good do you think they are in bed?" one of the other soldiers asked.

"They're some of the best." the captain told her, "That's why Ganondorf wants them enslaved. They're the only other species whose males can satisfy a Gerudo and live."

"They look so cute." another soldier said.

"Cute and weak." the captain told her, "Their hollow bones make them too frail for anything besides flying and fucking. On my signal, we ambush their chief."

The soldiers waited until the chief was alone. As soon as one of his bodyguards left to pee and the other was searching a room, they pounced. They swiftly overpowered the Rito chief. When his bodyguards ran to check on the chief, the Gerudos held their knives against the chief's throat. The bodyguards surrendered, not wanting to endanger their chief's life.

"Get your shit packed." the Gerudos told everyone, "Unless you want to see your chief's head sliced off, be ready to leave in ten minutes. Leave your weapons behind."

The Gerudo captain smiled. She liked it when their prey were this smart. The Rito packed their few possessions and were ready to leave in just under five minutes.

"Don't hurt the chief." One of the bodyguards pleaded.

The Gerudos led the Rito to Ganondorf's renovated castle, their blades never leaving the chief's neck. As soon as the last Rito was inside the castle, they locked the door.

"Listen up." The Gerudo captain demanded, "Children, the elderly, and the women will follow the Gerudo there in the doorway. Rito men, you'll follow me. Before any of you try to be a hero, you're all locked in here with heavily armed Gerudos. It would be a shame if your chief found your heroics to be a bit life threatening."

The men nodded and followed her. She led them to a makeshift prison not far from where the Gerudos now slept.

"What are you going to do to my people?" the chief asked.

"We heard you might be able to survive fucking us." she told him, "We intend to put that rumor to the test."

"What are you going to do to the women, children, and the elderly?" he asked.

"Fertile women will be used for breeding more Rito men should the rumors prove true." she told him, "The others will be used as bombers, shooting arrows and dropping bombs onto our enemies from the sky. That would be just the females. The males will fuck us. We intend to test the rumors as soon as the troops return from Kakariko Village."

"Has it fallen?" the chief asked.

"It fell this morning." she told him, "You will all be each assigned a mistress. You will live and sleep in her room. You will only be allowed to leave the room when she allows it. Rebel or perform poorly and you will be punished."

=====that evening=====

Ganondorf inspected the castle. The Rito women were being trained how to light and throw a bomb midair while the Rito men were busy pleasing their Gerudo mistresses. The rumor had proven true, allowing him and Link a much needed break from impregnating the Gerudo women.

Ganondorf looked out a window. The engineers had completed a small amusement park in his backyard, between the swimming pool and the new bowling alley. Ganondorf knew that wherever the king was, he was jealous. Jealous that his castle wasn't as cool before Ganondorf captured it.

Morale was at an all time high. The Dragon and Unicorn Lad were busy assembling an elite team of super powered persons to aid in the war effort. So far, the added team members included Big Baby Bobby, Sweaty Sam, the Atomic Powered Waistband, and Boozo the alcoholic clown. Unless the king had AA, he had little chance of retaking the castle.

Link's dresses got more and more feminine, thrilling all the Gerudos that openly had that fetish. His tyranny lessons were going swell. He had learned about building, running, and maintaining labor camps as well as propaganda, every dictator's friend. Ganondorf was proud when Link successfully tortured a large doll for information.


	6. Chapter 6

"So the rumors are true." the Gerudo told her Rito slave, "You're still breathing and I tried my best to fuck you to death."

"I'm just glad that's over." the Rito told her.

"Just be happy your sole purpose is to keep me happy." she told him, "While your mother and sisters are being drafted into the war machine, you'll be nice and safe here. Heck, we might even make you try out new, innovative sex acts with your fellow captives. I'm sure all the female Gerudos and that Zelda whore would love it."

"I'd rather not."

"Like you had any say." she told him, "Now shut up and get some sleep. You'll need all the sleep you can get after I'm done with you tomorrow and the next day."

The Rito sighed as he tried to sleep. What had he or his people done to deserve this? They worked so hard to maintain neutrality. They gave free mailing services to everyone. Now he and his people were slaves. He worried about what everyone else was going through. Were the females being mistreated? Would they die in battle? What about those too weak for work, battle, or sex? Were they being mistreated? Executed?

Sensing his unease, his Gerudo mistress pulled out a Rito-shaped hood out of her drawers.

"Don't look at me that way." she demanded, "I only have it because we were always planning on enslaving your people. It will help you sleep, since I prefer my mates to be breathing when I'm done. I'm just not into necrophilia."

She slid the hood over his head, tying and buckling it in the back to keep it on, leaving just his nostrils visible. Now he was plunged into silence and darkness.

The Gerudo admired her slave. This was the first mate to survive the actual mating that she didn't have to wait in line for. He was amazing in bed, whether he was using his cock or mouth. After she gave the female Rito a few more drills, she was going to crawl into bed with her slave.

=====Link=====

Link went through every detail in his head. He knew every nook and cranny of the forest. He knew every rock, tree, stream, and ledge. He knew how the inevitable assault would start.

First, the Rito would start the battle with an aerial bombardment, targeting defensive structures as well as enemy soldiers.

Then, he would lead the main assault. He had improved his dual-sword techniques and knew every strength and weakness of Hylian armor. While they were strong against strikes, a well-placed slice could decapitate the soldier. His armor had the advantage leaving no such vulnerability. Even the eye holes were covered by a strong, scratch and pierce-resistant clear film. It even had bomb compartments. He would bomb his foes when they were close together and decapitate them when they were separated.

He knew every Gerudo formation. He knew how to go from box formation to line formation and vice versa. He knew when to attack, when to hold his ground, and when to retreat. The Hylians and Kokiri may have had the advantage of numbers and technology, but the Gerudo empire had superior tactics, battle formations, diversity, and armor.

He was also excited about the prospect of invading the other Nintendo lands. He wanted a bigger army under his command. The Gerudo women wanted more sex slaves. Zelda, predictably, wanted more dresses. Ganondorf wanted karts.

Link knew what would also happen. Ganondorf would make some of the females from the conquered land Link's slaves and would force Link to use them. Zelda would dress him in the new dresses. The Gerudo women would give him some male slaves and force him to use them. Everything good came at a cost.

Link sighed and started packing a few supplies.

"Going somewhere?" Nabooru asked as she entered the room.

"I'm going to the Spirit Temple." he told her.

"You'll have to be escorted there." she told him, "There's also a strict dress code."

Link sighed when she handed him a pair of Gerudo pants and a bra.

"A better uniform will be provided at the temple." she said as she began removing his armor, "You will also have to provide a sacrifice to the goddess of the sand."

"What kind of sacrifice?" Link asked.

"A priestess there will act as the goddess's avatar." Nabooru explained, "Since you are a male, you will have to fuck her. After that, the goddess will aid you and give you your very own pet Anubis."

Once Nabooru had dressed Link, not allowing him to do it himself, she worked on his hair. Afterwards, she applied some make-up to his face.

"Dress code." she told him, "Also, I just like making you go from 'Gerudo girly' to 'Hylian girly', also known as 'Gerudo manly'."

Link was shocked when he looked in the mirror. If it wasn't for his flat chest, he would have looked no different from any of the female Gerudo.

"Why does life hate me?" Link asked himself, "Why must my life be pathetic to the point that the best part of my life was filled with rape and involuntary cross-dressing?"

"Let's get moving." Nabooru told him, "The salesmen hunt at night and you don't want to be their prey."

=====Ganondorf=====

"We've finally done it." Ganondorf proudly announced to the nearby Gerudo scientists, "We've turned Epona into Hyrule's first unicorn. Congratulations, ladies. You may now select a few Rito males for their first mandatory all-male orgy."

The Gerudo scientists all cheered while the nearby male Rito gulped. If it wasn't for their collars and chains, they would have made a run for the door.

"First, let's enjoy them." the lead scientist said, "Everyone, grab your Rito slave."

"King Ganondorf, Link left for the Spirit Temple." a messenger said.

"Please, call me Mr. President." Ganondorf told her.

"But you're not president." the messenger told him, "In fact, we have no president. We're a monarchy that goes from queendom to kingdom every time a male is conceived. We don't even wait for the king to be born."

"I'm now creating the presidential office." Ganondorf told her, "I'm now giving myself the right to vote. I'm now voting myself president. Call me Mr. President from now on."

"It's amazing how fast we've transitioned from monarchy to democracy, Mr. President."

"Keep an eye on the Mac and Cheese demographic." Ganondorf told her, "they could be the key to winning the next election."

"Yes, Mr. President."

"So, Link's finally going to visit the Spirit Temple as a Gerudo." Ganondorf told himself, "He's going there a Gerudo boy and coming back a Gerudo man… or a Gerudo woman. Either way, he'll finally be ready for the heavy responsibility of free-for-all nuclear warfare. He'll be mature enough to know the proper way of turning the entire world into one big radioactive wasteland."

=====Link +++++ five hours later=====

It was getting dark when they reached the temple. As soon as he stepped on the stone tiles, Nabooru pulled down his pants while a second Gerudo woman handed him his new uniform.

"How did I know it was going to be this?" Link asked as he looked at his new 'uniform'. Instead of opaque pants, it was a semi-see-through skirt that didn't even attempt to hide anything.

"We must get you to the sacrificial chambers."

"Why is it called the sacrificial chambers if I'm only sacrificing my dignity?" Link asked.

"People have been sacrificed there before." Nabooru explained, "Some were burned alive. Some were encased or buried alive. Some died in the middle or towards the end of the mummification process. A few were granted immortality and then sealed inside the walls."

"And I'm just going there for some sex?" Link asked, "No death, right?"

"Don't worry." Nabooru comforted him, "We only sacrifice lives when we need another Anubis."

"So my pet Anubis would actually be a…"

"Another woman in your life, yes." Nabooru confirmed.

"Why didn't I guess earlier?" Link asked.

"Don't worry. The priestess will take it nice and slow." Nabooru assured him, "It will be more romantic than traditional Gerudo mating. It will definitely be easier on your body."

"I hope so." Link told himself, "I certainly hope so."

=====sacrificial chamber=====

Link stood in the sacrificial chamber, watching the priestess approach him.

"I've been waiting for you." she said as she removed her pants.

"Can we just get this over with?" Link asked

"That's no way to talk to the superior sex." she told him seductively, "I may have to punish you on a later date. Tonight, you stop fucking like a boy and start fucking like a man."

"Does it involve looking like a prostitute?" Link asked, "I've seen drag shows that had less make-up than I have on my face."

"Every Gerudo male wears a liberal amount of make-up." she explained as she removed his skirt, "Without his make-up, Ganondorf would look as pale as a basement-dwelling Hylian."

"Can't he just go out in the sun more?" Link asked, "That's how normal people solve paleness."

"We would still make him look pretty." the priestess told him, "Just like we made you look pretty."

"let's just get this over with. I have a village of kids to burn."

"You're eager." she told him, "Every Gerudo enjoys an eager mate. It makes it easier for everyone."

"So how is this going to work?" Link asked, "The only experience I have is with female rapists, a horny wolf, and Tingle's unblinking eyes. He just stares at you. Always staring; always undressing with his eyes. Then he removes his hood and the real horror begins."

"There's no Tingle here. This is a happy place. First, we'll have dinner. Then we get on the sacrificial alter. From there, we just let instinct guide us.

=====Kokiri Forest=====

The King of Hyrule sat in his throne, listening to his generals' plans for world domination.

"The biggest threat to our empire is the Gerudo Empire." Saria told him, "They've taken control of Kakariko village and Lon Lon Ranch, as well as enslaving the Rito people. They're amassing an army and are expected to assault the forest soon."

"How soon?" the King asked.

"We expect them to attack us by the end of the week."

"Have the troops finish work on the defenses." the King ordered, "We'll give their warriors something to strive for."


	7. Chapter 7

"I'll see you tomorrow!" the Gerudo guard shouted back to her friend. She opened the door to her room and almost screamed at what she found.

Her Rito pet was hanging from a noose he had made out of her sheets. Thinking quick, she pulled out her knife and began cutting him free.

"What's the meaning of this?" she asked as the bird started breathing again. The Rito refused to answer.

"Please answer me before I'm forced to torture the answer out of you."

"I… I can't live like this." he finally confessed, "I'm supposed to be one of the best Rito warriors. I was about to start my shift protecting the chief when you took our chief captive. I remember you as the most cheerful of the attackers."

"What's your name, pet?"

"My mother had named me Link after the hero that single-handedly stopped the Tingle Invasion of '59." he explained as he held back his tears, "She had always bragged that I was the bravest, that she could always count on me to take care of her and bail her out. She taught me that if I wanted a mate, I had to be willing to b the first to fight and die. Now no mate would want someone as cowardly as me."

"I want you." the guard told Rito Link, "For the first time in my life, I can come home to someone I can technically call my mate. I have someone I can talk about my day with and dress up like a big bird doll. I have someone I can fuck until my body can't take it anymore. Please don't take that away from me."

"I thought all women fucked each other." Rito Link confessed, "I must admit that the only other females I know are Rito."

"Unfortunately for King Ganondorf and Prince Link, Gerudo women are all strictly hetero." the Gerudo explained, "Now, from what you have told me, the Rito women appear to be as bad as those Hylian whores. I'm not sure about Gorons. Do they have women?"

"I think they're all herms." Rito Link told her, "Not traditional herms. These are a bit more masculine and a lot more fertile."

"I don't remember any female guards. Are there any?"

"No. Not that they aren't allowed to. They just usually stay home or work at the temple."

"That's what I thought." the guard told him, "It sounds like they are worse than the Hylian whores or the Kokiri anything. They should have been joining your military by the dozen. Instead, they're content with letting your sex do all the dying."

"It's not that bad." Rito Link told her.

"Let me guess. If you're good, they give you sex like it's a freak'n cookie, not a staple to a healthy relationship. Please don't tell me they fuck each other like a pack of Hylian whores."

"Our captain lets us watch from behind a bush."

"Do they at least let you fuck your fellow male?"

"They said it was bad for female morale if we weren't completely dependant on them for that kind of thing."

"Your orders, slave, are to find a consenting hot male Rito and fuck him in plain view for all the off-duty Gerudo guards to watch. Meanwhile, I'll have to make sure the Rito whores understand that sacrifices are something all adults should do."

"What's your name, by the way?"

"K'rrst. No vowels."

"What, did your parents pull a random assortment of letters out of a bag?"

"My mother, yes. My father was a very busy, very young Ganondorf. He added the apostrophe."

=====Ganondorf=====

"So what are all your powers?" Ganondorf asked the group.

"You all know me as the Dragon." the Dragon told the group, "My powers come from my dragon suit. I have flight, super strength, and can launch fire as fireballs, a stream of burning napalm, or to create a general area of intense heat. I also have boobs."

"I am the Big Baby." the Big Baby told the group, "This oversized bottle can shoot six types of deadly projectiles, as well as a grappling hook. Those rattles are grenades, frag, stick, flash bang, and smoke. I also command an army of diaper-themed soldiers."

"I am the Cheesecutter. My blades can cut through anything and I can produce a variety of gasses, from nerve gases to sleep gases and flammable gases."

"I am the Avatar of Nature. I can produce oxygen and summon various stampedes, swarms, and natural disasters at will. They all stop laughing at me when they're covered in carnivorous ants. I also bake the cookies."

"Here's the plan." Ganondorf told the group, "When we decide to launch the attack, you guys assault the joint. Cheeseboy will cut open the safe while the Dragon and Big Baby work on controlling the crowds. Natureboy will keep the Kokiri cops busy with storms and bees. They never prepare for the bees. You four will return here with the loot. My goons will give you all the additional tools you think you might need for the job. We'll all get 20%."

=====Link=====

"How's your dinner, Link?" the priestess asked.

"It's good." Link answered, "It's certainly filling."

"That's good. We wouldn't want to have to get to work on an empty stomach."

"Now, my pet Anubis." Link began, "It houses the soul of a Gerudo woman, right?"

"Yes."

"Will I have to fuck it like I had to fuck the Gerudos that still had their original body?"

"Fuck it. Wear it. The possibilities are plural. You'll also have to walk it every day and not let that Zelda bitch hump it. They may be floating bits of cloth and other Anubis stuff, but they're still Gerudo women, just like the pizza delivery guy."

"Ted? But he's a Hylian male." Link explained.

"Nope. Gerudo woman."

"But he flashed his thingy at me. He got naked and danced on the lawn. He even de-urinated my coffee."

"Gerudo woman."

"But how?"

"She wears a hat."

"Yeah, I guess that'll do it."

"Finish your meal so we can get our dessert."

=====The King of Hyrule=====

"Sir, scouts have confirmed that they do in fact have an army of screaming naked people." Saria reported.

"Send in the Squadala guy." the King ordered.

"You wanted to see me, your majesty?"

"What's this secret weapon you've been working on."

"Squadala, it's a being generated from fungal waste and Tingle's genetic material. It embodies all that is bad, but not rotten since rotten stuff nourishes good plants as well as evil plants."

"Let me see this secret weapon of yours."

The King nearly suffered a heart attack-stroke tag-team wrestling match at the sight of such a foul beast.

"It's perfect." the King told him.

"Are you ready for some evil, Lipstick Link?" Squadala Guy asked his creation.

"Oh boy!" it shouted with joy, "I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos."


	8. Chapter 8

Malon sighed. Earlier that day, she was taken from her ranch by the Gerudo and forced to wear a humiliating "sexy" cow suit. Now she was being dragged into a room with a few other women and a wolf.

"Why exactly am I here?" Malon asked.

"You're now in Prince Link's harem." the guard said as she locked a collar around Malon's neck. The collar was chained to the wall and had a cow bell on it.

"Fairy boy's a prince?" Malon asked, dumbfounded.

"Pretty much. And now you're one of his personal fuck toys."

"He's your prince?" Malon asked, still confused, "The guy who worked so hard to defeat your king is your prince."

"Prince Link recently learned that Ganondorf was his father." the guard explained, "Now he's in the family business."

"So, when is Link coming?"

"Prince Link is coming back tonight." the guard told her, "He's going to require your services."

"Only if it's just Link." Malon told her, "I don't like the way that wolf girl is looking at me."

"She's just a horny girl-kisser. Ignore her."

-Link-

"So far, I'm not disappointed."

"Neither am I." Link told the priestess, "Are you just going to stare or are you going to undress too?"

The priestess quickly removed her clothes and gently pushed Link onto the altar. She then climbed on top of him and looked into his eyes.

"Let's make you a man worthy of being Ganondorf's heir." she said. She smiled when she felt Link's manhood try to push against her body. She grabbed Link's face and pulled him into a kiss that quickly grew passionate.

"I love you." she told him when their lips separated, "We all do."

"I love you too, priestess." Link told her.

"Please. I'm the Sand Goddess's avatar now."

"So, should I call you Sand Goddess then?" Link asked.

"If you want."

The priestess rubbed herself against Link, making sure his organ was getting stimulated. Soon, she got up onto her knees and carefully slid her sex over his manhood. The fit was tight, but she had no problems.

She smirked when she saw a smile appear on Link's face.

"I knew it would be easy." she thought. She slid her sex up and down, slowly bringing the pair closer to the climax. Link wanted to grab her, but she grabbed his arms first and held her down. He may have been her prince, but she was still a Gerudo woman. Gerudo women always took command in the bedroom.

"I love you, Sand Goddess." Link grunted as he fought the urge to climax.

"And the Gerudo people love you." She told him. After about an hour, she finished. She hid her conflicting feelings of embarrassment and victory well. Instead, she slid her sex off his and put some lubricant on her anus. She then slid her anus over his manhood, making Link shiver with pleasure.

"I see the prince likes this." she said, "The Sand Goddess knows what makes her people happy." She thrusted and squeezed his manhood until she felt him cum. She then got off Link and proceeded to clean his organ with her mouth. He came a few more times, finishing off his load, making the priestess smile.

"I guess we're finished here." she said after she swallowed his seed, "My shift is over. We should probably head home."

"We should do this another time." Link told her.

"We should." she agreed, "There's no way those Hylian whores they're adding to your harem can keep you happy."

Link nodded as the pair got dressed. They grabbed an Anubis before they made it to a waiting wagon.

-Ganondorf-

Ganondorf was bored. With most of Hyrule either under his control or allied with him, there wasn't much to do. The guards made sure the Hylians and female Ritos were put to work. The teenage and adult male Ritos were forced to keep Gerudo morale high and the younger Rito boys were being prepared for their only career path. Link would be coming home a man; a man with a floating Anubis thingy. Why did they float? He'd have to get his best scientists to study that magic.

There was nothing to do, at least until the Ganonland theme park was finished.

-Link-

It was almost midnight when Link made it back to the castle. He grabbed his new Anubis and made his way to his room.

"What are you guys doing here?" Link asked when he saw Malon and that cucco lady there.

"This is your harem, Prince Link." the guard explained, "They are here to satisfy your growing Gerudo urges. We didn't know what you prefer, so we got you the cougar and the cowgirl."

"I am not a cougar." The cucco lady insisted.

"Did I say you could talk?" the guard asked, "I don't recall saying you could talk. Now shut up and get in the bed with Link. Gerudos never sleep alone."

The two Hylian women were unchained from the wall and undressed. The cucco lady was dressed in a cucco kigurumi and Malon in a cow kigurumi. They then slipped into bed with Link and Zelda.

-morning-

It was about eight in the morning when Link woke. He slipped out of Malon's grasp, accidentally awakening her in the process.

"Morning, fairy boy." Malon said as she climbed out of bed, "Oops, I meant Prince Fairyboy."

"Don't they look cute together?" Link asked, pointing at Zelda and the cucco lady. Sleeping Zelda had managed to pull the cucco lady into a suggestive embrace.

"I'm so glad they found love." Malon said, giggling.

"I hope the cucco lady doesn't mind Zelda's constant flirting and snuggling." Link added.

"I wouldn't mind a little flirting and snuggling." Malon said to herself softly.

"What was that?" Link asked.

"I think… I think I love you." Malon admitted, "Not like a friend or a brother. I… I want to be with you. I want to enjoy your body. I want to show you how much I love you."

"Alright." Link sighed, "Whatever you have planned, can you make it look like I'm forcing you to do it when the guards come?"

"Let's wait until the lovers wake up. I spent so much time carefully getting them into position and I want to see their reactions when they wake up."

The two of them smirked at the thought and waited. It was about an hour before Zelda woke up. Seeing the cucco lady "cuddling" up against her, Zelda carefully turned to face her and then pulled her closer. Soon, the cucco lady woke up.

"What do you think you're doing?" the cucco lady asked angrily.

"There's no need to be ashamed." Zelda reassured her.

"Get away from me!" the cucco lady demanded.

"But she likes you." Link told her.

"How long have you been standing there?" The cucco lady asked him, "Can you please keep her away from me?"

"I don't know." Link told her, "You two look cute together. Plus, she keeps harassing the guards."

"Please." the cucco lady begged.

"No, I want to watch." Link told her flatly.

The cucco lady tried to break free, but Zelda forced her into a kiss. When she opened her mouth to protest, Zelda slid her tongue into the cucco lady's mouth. With the cucco lady's head secured by one hand, Zelda used her other hand to bring the cucco lady's body closer. Zelda forced her onto the bed and wrapped her legs around the cucco lady's legs.

Malon watched Link's growing bulge with anticipation.

"Should we get started?" Malon asked.

"We should." Link told her as he lifted up his skirt. Once her mouth was over his organ, Link let the skirt fall back down and grabbed the back of her head, slowly pulling her closer.

"Looks like we've found Zelda a playmate." Link said, much to the cucco lady's horror, "Not that I won't get to play with her."

Link enjoyed watching Zelda make love to the cucco lady for a half hour before he was satisfied.

"Enough." he told them when he came in Malon's mouth, "Zelda, you have some marking to do. Malon, you're coming with me. Cucco lady, clean up this room. I'll have a guard in here to make sure you do it right. When you are done, the guard will bring you to me. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir." the three women told him.

"Can I at least change first?" The cucco lady asked.

"Keep it on." Link ordered, "Don't even remove the hood. Seeing you dressed like a cucco amuses me. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can eat."

"Make sure she cleans the room." Link told the guard waiting outside, "When she finishes, send her to me. Also, make sure she keeps the suit on, including the hood."

The guard nodded. Link and Malon headed for Ganondorf's new office while Zelda headed for the section reserved for the female Rito.

"Good morning, father." Link greeted as he entered the office, "How are the war preparations going?"

"They're going well. Who's your friend?"

"This is Malon, dad." Link told him, "She and I have been growing closer over the years. Today, I let her pleasure me."

"Let?" Ganondorf asked, "You mean you didn't force her?"

"I know consent isn't the Gerudo way." Link told him, "Believe me. That's why I'm grateful for this war. Recently, she's been more aggressive about getting into my pants and I couldn't let a perfectly good mouth go to waste. If it makes you feel any better, I let Zelda have the cucco lady this morning. I think the cucco lady was going to cry."

"What are your plans for Malon? You know you're going to have to marry a Gerudo. Preferably, you'll marry a Gerudo princess."

"I don't mind." Malon told Ganondorf, "As long as I can still be in Link's personal harem."

"How is your harem going, son?" Ganondorf asked.

"I've got Malon and the cucco lady." Link told him, "I'm thinking of making the cucco lady my personal maid."

"That's a good start." Ganondorf told him, "I've been thinking. After this upcoming battle, I want you to move back into the fortress. While I'm running and expanding our empire, I want you to rule our people. Heck, I'll even throw in a few Rito slaves."

"I've always wanted a bird-person slave."

"We all have, son. Get ready to live the dream."


End file.
